Joe Carr
was one of nine witnesses to the murder of Rachel Corrie. These are his reflections
and
eye-witness account. See the pictures he and
others took of the incident.
Get more
info on Rachel at www.rachelcorrie.org.
Horror and
Stress
I have never experienced anything like this in my life. I've
never had
someone close to me die before, let alone have them be brutally murdered right
in
front of my eyes. I don't even know how to react. I went through stages of
dumbfounded shock and serious crying fits. I had no chance to be alone at
all, I was either surrounded by Palestinians or on the phone with media. I
chose the latter. I was doing interviews non-stop starting 30 min. after her
death, all the way until
continuing all day today. I literally would never hang up the phone, just
switch to an incoming call on call waiting. When I did finally get a second
to breath, I'd have like 30 missed calls. Anyway, it was a bit therapeutic I
think, telling the story over and over, and interviews make me feel
important. All this thing is is a media event now, so we must continue a
campaign as hard as possible before the new and bigger tragedy, the
war, begins. The few hours I had off interviews last night between
and
TV/radio interviews, a demonstration and the beginnings of the traditional
Palestinian 3-day mourning ceremony. Right now we're preparing for a serious
influx of
people from the
possibly including her family.
The stress is really getting
to me. I couldn't sleep for the 2 hours I was
allowed because my body won't relax. My heart is racing and I shake a lot, and
I’m
even having trouble breathing. My jaw is the worst though. It won't loosen to
save my life, and it hurts like hell, especially when I chew (when i get
time to grab a falafel sandwich). I've never experienced physical stress
and tension like this.
We thought this might happen eventually. We often spoke in
the abstract that
eventually one of us would get killed, but we always figured they'd shoot
us, or it'd be an "accident", like in a house that is missiled or a
stray
bullet would hit an unlucky activist. I never dreamed it'd be like this, the
intentional crushing of a human being. I do believe it was intentional. I
saw it, and I know he saw her, I know he did, and I know he knew she was
still under the bulldozer when it backed up without raising the blade. I
don't know if he wanted to kill her, or if he was just focused on doing his
work and didn't care if he killed her or not, I don't know which is
scarier.
I don't feel like telling the whole detailed story right
now. I promise that
for the record I will tell it in detail, but give me a few days. I just
want to quickly dispel a few myths you may have heard in the media.
She did not "trip and fall" in front of the bulldozer. She sat down
in front
of it, well in advance, wearing one of the orange flouro jackets I got in
standing with the megaphone in front of the bulldozer, and the ones of her
friends helping her). He clearly saw her, and continued to drive until she
was forced onto the top of the dirt he was pushing, elevating her so much
that she was at eye level with the bulldozer's cab, he could see right into
her eyes. He continued forward, pulling her underneath the dirt, and out of
his vision. He continued forward, crushing her underneath the weight of the
blade. He continued forward, until she was well underneath the bulldozer.
It was then quite clear that she was nowhere but underneath him, but he
proceeded to back up, without lifting the blade, crushing her again. I
believe that it was the combination of these two crushings that caused her
death.
She was defending the house of a physician. We've all stayed
in the house,
we know that there are no weapons of any kind there, just a middle aged
doctor and his lovely family. They want to demolish it because it happens
to lie near the boarder, and they're systematically demolishing all the
houses near the boarder. It has nothing to do with retaliatory or
preventative operations.
They were not searching for tunnels or bombs either. We know
what this looks
like, they do it a lot. It involves armored drills and bomb dogs and shooting
at the ground, none of which was present here. It’s just a further example of
the Israeli military's blatant lies.
There was never any gunfire from any Palestinians, the only
gunfire came
from the tank, when it shot at the ground a few times in order to scare us.
But even this was extremely minimal. The Palestinian that was killed was in
a totally separate area of Rafah, and was killed by sniper fire into the
area, not in a gun battle. It is quite unfortunate that his death probably
wouldn't even be reported anywhere if it weren't for Rachel.
The Palestinians have been incredible. They are quite used
to this, as
thousands of their people have died. Indeed I now know how every Palestinian
family feels, as many of them have lost multiple friends and family to the
Israeli
occupation. Their support has been invaluable however, they've gone to full
lengths to give her a proper demonstration and ceremony, like they give
every other Shahid (martyr). They've made a nice poster of her as well,
which will be posted in all of the places she has been, and there's ganna be
a big march and demonstration this afternoon. We're planning actions for
the coming days as well. We're planning to occupy the murder sight, and
line the whole area with flowers, and erect a nice visible memorial as well.
I don't know what this means for us now. It could go one of
two ways. It
could make us more effective, because now they know that we are not going to
move, and that we will risk our safety to oppose them. Thus they will be
forced to be more careful, and withdraw sooner. Or, it could mean that they
no longer care, and will willfully kill and injure us without hesitation. This
would render us useless as human shields, and our work would be impossible. So
we'll have to see. I know we'll be much more careful, and have long talks about
tactics, and with what people are still comfortable. I
have a lot of thinking and considering to do. But we're not leaving, that's
for sure. We're dedicated to staying here, especially with the
risk of full invasion of the Gaza Strip.
If any of you heard anything else and have questions, I'd
gladly respond to
them. I also encourage you to contact your local media, and tell them that
you know someone who was there and saw it, and who is still there and
willing to give a full interview. Feel free to give them my name and phone
number: Joseph Smith, 972-67-628-507. Please spread the word, it’s all we
can do now.
I'm sure you'll keep me in your thoughts, I need all the
energy I can get as
I deal with this trauma. My close friends and family have been wonderful,
and haven’t freaked out on me like I thought they would. But I share their
concern.
Ok, I must go the press conference. Below is an article by
my professor from
Evergreen, its a fabulous analysis of
innocent civilians.
much love and disparity
-joe
Full
Account
My name is Joseph Smith, I am 21 years old and from
ISM is a Palestinian-led grassroots organization designed to
work with international volunteers to partake in non-violent direct action
resistance to the Israeli occupation. We work and live in Palestinian communities,
and get a first-hand account of the violence to which they are subjected every
day by the Israeli military. We are in solidarity with them, as we share in
their suffering and take some of the risks that they are unfortunately forced
to live with. It is important for us to show that the world has not forgotten
these people, and that individuals from all over the world are willing to
interrupt their comfortable lives to come and risk themselves for the sake of
Palestinians. Through this work we attempt to make links between
I chose to come to
We were
split into two groups, one working as human shields for water workers at the
Hay Salaam
activists noticed that two Israeli Army bulldozers and one tank have entered
onto Palestinian civilian property near the border and are demolishing farmland
and other already damaged structures. The military machinery was severely
threatening near-by homes, so the 3 activists went up onto the roof of one
home, and then called for others to come.
I arrived,
and one of the three activists in the house joined me on the ground. The
bulldozers moved away from the house activists were occupying, so the other two
joined us, and we began to disrupt the work of the bulldozers. We moved slowly
at first, just standing near to their work, and then sat and stood on a
partially built house that looked threatened. One bulldozer began to damage
part of the structure on which we were standing, so a Scottish activist began
standing and sitting on the edge of the structure, and made it impossible for
the bulldozer to work without injuring him. At this point, Rachel and the two
other activists joined us from the well, with a banner and a megaphone. Rachel
and a British activist were wearing jackets that were fluorescent orange and
had reflective stripping.
Our press
office informed the British and American embassies that Israeli Army bulldozers
were behaving aggressively, and were endangering the lives of British and
American citizens, but they took no action.
The
bulldozer continued to try and further damage the structure and we continued to
get in its way. At one point, a concrete pillar almost fell on the Scottish
activist, but he moved just in time. We were worried that the two houses behind
this structure would be targeted, so we placed one activist on the roof of each
house. I went onto the roof of the house closest to the structure. Rachel and
two other activists began interfering with the other bulldozer, which was
attempting to destroy grass and other plants on what used to be farmland. They
stood and sat in its path, and though it would drive very close to them, and
even move the earth on which they were sitting, it always stopped in time to
avoid injuring them. After about 10 minutes, both bulldozers gave up on their
work and withdrew to the boarder, and parked to face the houses, one on each
side of the tank. I stayed on the roof, as the rest of the activists gathered
to face the military machinery, and held an “International Solidarity Movement”
banner, while Rachel shouted at them with a megaphone. Soldiers in the tank
yelled obscenities at us, and told us to leave. They fired a few warning shots
at the ground, and then fired a teargas canister. The wind blew the gas east of
us, and never came close to a single activist. After a few more minutes of this
face off, the bulldozers began driving east together on the boarder strip, and
we thought they might have given up. Just in case, five of the activists walked
on the Palestinian land, and followed the bulldozers. The other activist and I
came down out of our houses. He joined the others, and I joined Rachel who had
stayed with the tank in order to speak to the soldiers over the megaphone. They
requested that she approach the tank, but she refused due their rude and
aggressive behavior.
We noticed
that the bulldozers had incurred back onto Palestinian land, and the six
activists were opposing them, so we left the tank to join them. During this
round of opposition, one bulldozer pushed Will, an American activist, up
against a pile of barbed wire. Fortunately, the bulldozer stopped and withdrew
just in time to avoid injuring him seriously, but we had to dig him out of the
rubble, and unhook his clothing from the wire. The tank approached to see if he
was ok. One soldier stuck his head out of the tank to see, and he looked quite
shocked and dumbfounded, but said nothing.
We climbed
onto some already damaged structures that were threatened, and kept the
bulldozers from incurring any further onto Palestinian land. The bulldozer
drivers began waving at us, making faces, laughing, and shouting what sounded
like lewd comments. One even removed his helmet and posed for a picture, which
unfortunately didn’t turn out.
One
bulldozer, serial number 949623, began to work near the house of a physician
who is a friend of ours, and in whose house Rachel and other activists often
stayed. While we occupied the other structures directly west (the closest was
less than 5 meters away and the furthest was less than 25 meters away), Rachel
sat down in the pathway of the bulldozer. I was elevated about 2 meters above
the ground, and had a clear view of the action happening about 20 meters away.
Still wearing her fluorescent jacket, she sat down at least 15 meters in front
of the bulldozer, and began waving her arms and shouting, just as activists had
successfully done dozens of times that day. The bulldozer continued driving
forward headed straight for Rachel. When it got so close that it was moving the
earth beneath her, she climbed onto the pile of rubble being pushed by the
bulldozer. She got so high onto it that she was at eye-level with the cab of
the bulldozer. Her head and upper torso were above the bulldozer’s blade, and
the bulldozer driver and co-operator could clearly see her. Despite this, he
continued forward, which pulled her legs into the pile of rubble, and pulled
her down out of view of the diver. If he’d stopped at this point, he may have
only broken her legs, but he continued forward, which pulled her underneath the
bulldozer. We ran towards him, and waved our arms and shouted, one activist
with the megaphone. But the bulldozer driver continued forward, until Rachel
was underneath the central section of the bulldozer. At this point, it was more
than clear that she was nowhere but underneath the bulldozer, there was simply
nowhere else she could have been, as she had not appeared on either side of the
bulldozer, and could not have stayed in front of it that long without being
crushed. Despite the obviousness of her position, the bulldozer began to
reverse, without lifting its blade, and drug the blade over her body again. He
continued to reverse until he was on the boarder strip, about 100 meters away,
and l
The doctor
came out and suggested that we move her, but it was clear that we could not. He
used cotton swabs to dab some of the blood coming from her face.
The
ambulance arrived. The Palestinian paramedics risked their lives to come out
onto the boarder strip and put her onto a stretcher. We worked as human shields
for them, and tried to make it difficult for the tank to fire at the ambulance
workers as they have at many others in the past. While the paramedics loaded
her onto a stretcher, one activist suggested that I get a good picture that
clearly showed the serial number of the bulldozer responsible. I walked all the
way out to the boarder strip, passed the tank, and began photographing the
bulldozer. The tank soldier hollered something at me, and the bulldozer began
driving in such a way as to prevent me from seeing the side of the bulldozer
that displayed the serial number, or the side windows from which one might see
the drivers. Despite their clever maneuvering, I managed to get several
pictures of the serial number, but the tinted windows on the machine did not
allow me to get a decent photo of the driver. By the time I’d finished, the
paramedics were carrying Rachel on a stretcher to the ambulance. She was still
breathing at this point, and her eyes were open, but she was clearly in a great
deal of pain. Four activists piled into the ambulance with Rachel and the
paramedics and were rushed to Al Negar Hospital. She was brought directly to
the emergency room, and was in there when I arrived in a taxi.
She was
pronounced dead and was wheeled out of the emergency room with a white sheet
covering her head.
“It’s over.” Said Mohamed with tears in his eyes. He was a
close Palestinian friend of hers and mine, and a trusted member of our group. I
couldn’t believe it. It was so unreal. There was a part of me that couldn’t
accept that she was gone. It had all happened so fast, I was in complete shock.
I became less emotional than I’d been since the incident. I was just
dumbfounded. As others began to cry, I joined in, and was on international
television being comforted by the before-mentioned Mohamed. But I have yet to
even come close to expressing the emotion that is built up inside me.
I’m still having trouble accepting that it’s real. I keep
remembering small things about her, like that she liked juice, and used to wear
this ridiculous pink jump suit that was given to her by a Palestinian woman.
I’ve started smoking cigarettes since her death, and I’m constantly telling the
story of how Rachel had quit smoking for a year before coming to Rafah, but
started again the night she arrived, while she stayed in a tent along the
boarder that came under heavy tank fire. One of the bullets being fired around
the tent in attempts to frighten them actually hit the top of the tent. She’s
smoked ever since, and how I wish that she’d lived long enough to die of lung
cancer. Perhaps now I will.
Few activists actually come to
Rachel and I actually went to the same college but were only
acquaintances, so I about flipped when I got a random email from her telling me
that she is coming to Palestine and planning to come directly to Rafah. The
coincidence was incredible, plus I was excited to have another activist joining
us for the long-term, especially one with her kind of dedication and
initiative.
Rachel planned to stay in Rafah for at least four months,
maybe more, in order to set up a sister-city relationship with her hometown of
That type of project is representative of Rachel’s
personality. She had an incredible amount of initiative, and was willing and
able to invent and carry through all kinds creative and challenging projects. I
had the privilege of meeting her during one of these such projects.
This is more than representative of her personality and
style of organizing. I can’t get over how much fun she was. She could be
totally spontaneous and random at times, and her sarcasm always brought a
laugh. She truly made a huge impact on the Rafah community in the seven weeks
that she was here. I can’t tell you how many people have come to her funeral
ceremony expressing their deep sadness. I recognize so many of them as frequent
visitors of hers, and people whom she loved and trusted. She especially had
important relationships with the children of Rafah. It was not uncommon at all
to have a few small boys show up at our office to visit, and she’d be ready
with soda or candy, and sometimes join them for quick game of football
(soccer). They loved her dearly, and she cherished them endlessly.
She had a relatively close relationship with the physician
whose house she died protecting. She especially liked his wife and children,
and truly thought of them as family. She slept in his house many nights, and it
does not surprise me that she would give her life to defend this family’s only
home and possessions.
Rachel
stayed in a few other threatened Palestinian homes as well, and quickly
developed close relationships with these people. They would constantly request
that she stay at their home, and would feel sad if she was away for too long.
We sleep in many houses along the boarder that are threatened with demolition.
Rachel also helped organize a demonstration in Rafah in
solidarity with the people of
She was active in the before-mentioned human-shield work for
civilian Palestinian workers. Especially at the two biggest water wells in
Rafah, which were recently destroyed by
I am deeply saddened at the loss of a good friend, and a
brilliant activist. I am outraged that these soldiers have murdered my friend,
as they have murdered thousands of Palestinian civilians. I am terrified at
what they will do to internationals and other dissenting voices in the future.
I now feel how every Palestinian family must feel. I am determined to continue
to resist this brutal occupation, and have learned from the courage and
dedication that Rachel displayed.
I will always remember Rachel’s unmoving dedication to this
cause, that eventually led to her death.
We are
unsure about what this means for us now. I believe that the way the world
reacts to this event will determine the effectiveness of our work in the
future. If
I don’t expect much of a reaction from the United States
Government. The D9 bulldozer that killed her was designed and built by
Caterpillar, and American-based Multinational Corporation. Plus, one fourth of
all
To commemorate Rachel’s death, we have stuck with the
Palestinian tradition of a three-day ceremony, started by a popular
demonstration and march and followed by all-day grieving periods including
numerous visits by community members. Black coffee and dates are served in the
spirit of the nomadic tradition. Chairs are set up in a line, and the family
(us in this case) sit in them and shake hands with lines of Palestinians that
come to express their condolences. Underneath a large tent there are chairs in
which visitors may sit and talk. Beautiful Arabic music is played over a loud
speaker, along with comments and speeches about the deceased. All around, signs
and banners are hung, along with many copies of her “Shahid Poster”.
Palestinians always design a poster for each shahid (martyr) that displays the
shahid’s picture and words about them. Thousands of copies have been made,
posted and distributed all around Rafah. We especially placed them in areas
Rachel frequented, such as the internet café in which she sometimes spent all
night. On the top of the poster we printed it says, “Rachel, she came to stop
the tanks.” It is from a quote we found in her journal about an Italian
activist that was once here.
The Palestinians have been incredibly supportive as they are
quite used to this. We all only hope that her death will bring the world’s
attention to the brutal and senseless violence that this occupation represents.
The fact that one American peace activist was killed should only show how
frequently Israeli soldiers kill unarmed civilians. It especially should not be
forgotten that a young Palestinian man was killed in Tele Sulton, a different
area of Rafah, around the same time as Rachel. He happened to be walking in the
street when a tank shot blanket fire into the area. Somehow his death, along
with those of thousands of innocent Palestinian men, women, and children goes overlooked.
“You’re one of us now.” Some Palestinians have said to me.
“You were a foreigner before, but now you know what it is to be Palestinian.”
Spray painted on a wall near our apartment, is “Rachel Corrie, an American
citizen with Palestinian blood.” That says it all.